You only get the next stop
We tell you where to meet. That is all you get. When we land, you find out the next one. No group chat with the full list. No planning ahead. You just show up and go.
A night that picks itself
Ditch Plans
You made plans tonight. Ditch them. We walk. The coin picks the next stop. Nobody knows where it ends, not even us. That is the whole point.
The short version
It is a bar crawl that lost its map. You get one stop at a time. You get water at every one. If your money runs out, the group has you. And we never end in a bar.
How the night works
The coin picks
At every stop we flip a real coin. Heads we go left. Tails we go right. The coin does not care who you know or what you spent. It is the fairest thing in the city.
The ditch fund
Everyone drops the same small amount at the start. That is the fund. If you run out, the fund covers you. You still get in. You still eat. Nobody has to say they are broke out loud.
Water at every stop
Water at every single stop. We do not skip it. This is not a rule to be annoying. We want you here when the sun comes up, and we want you fine the next day.
The last stop is never a bar
We end somewhere quiet. A diner. A beach. A roof. A stoop. Somewhere you can hear each other again. That is the part people still talk about a year later.
One seat is already paid
A piece of the ditch fund holds one open seat. It goes to someone who could not have come otherwise. You will probably never know who it was. Good.
Somebody always knows the way home
The crowd gets one stop at a time. The stewards hold the whole map. Someone on the walk always knows where we are going, how you get home, and who came alone.
Surprise is the fun part. Being lost is not. You can ask a steward for the end point at any time and they will tell you. If you want to leave early, say so and someone walks you out.
A future phase · nothing below exists yet
The Broke Bus
Ditch Plans works on foot because a walk costs nothing to run. The idea under discussion is a version that moves: a fitted-out bus that carries the same six rules — one stop at a time, water at every one, the fund covering anyone who runs short, one seat already paid — to a room that is not walking distance from anything.
There is no bus. Nobody has bought, leased or converted one, and there is no date. This is a plan being talked about, written down honestly instead of quietly, because the alternative is somebody reading a number somewhere and thinking it is already real.
What it would actually take
Every line below is a real cost. None of them has a figure next to it, for the same reason the cost model on the ballot does not: a number here would be invented, not quoted. Costs like these change by market, vehicle age and city, and get published the day a real supplier gives a real number — the same standard artist fees are held to on this site.
- A vehicle, bought or leased — sourcing and importing one is its own project before the fit-out starts
- The fit-out itself: sound, a secured DJ position, lighting, water, a quiet corner, structural approval for anything upstairs
- Commercial insurance and a licensed driver, not optional and not negotiable
- Sound and assembly permits for wherever it stops, city by city
- Ongoing maintenance, fuel and storage
The one rule that is already decided
If it happens, it inherits Ditch Plans whole — the six rules on this page, unedited. No VIP deck. No paid upgrade to skip the general floor. If anyone outside Brokehella ever wants to charter it, they take those rules with it or they do not get the bus. That part is not up for negotiation even before the vehicle exists.
Want to help make this real — drive it, build it out, run sound, or just tell us it is a bad idea? Put yourself on the Bench.
What this is not
- No VIP. There is no better group than the group.
- No bottle service. Put it in the fund instead.
- No guest list built on who has followers.
- No pressure to drink. Plenty of people walk it dry.
- No one gets left behind. Not for any reason.
No plan · that's the plan
We walk. We flip.
Nobody gets left.
Dates go out to the list first. That is the only way to hear about it.